0004 - Hideous Meatshell - 2017.10.30



Esthetics communicate a lot about a person - more so, the more control you have over the way you look - but they can only communicate so much.

I look in the mirror, and the face that I see... that's not me. Not really. I see pimples and wrinkles I'd like to iron out, flesh under my chin I'd like to clip away, a nose that bends ever so slightly to the right. But then, if I could edit myself as much as I like, if the real world was closer to Second Life... I don't know that I'd ever be 100% happy with whatever nose I happened to pick.

(That's right, a "picking my nose" joke, deal with it.)

I used to hate wearing logoed clothing. I was doing the grey-tee-every-day lifehack before Zuckerberg invented it. With the advent of easy custom printing, though, I've found I don't mind printed t-shirts so much. One of my favourite shirts is a custom one I made that says "WARRIOR POET PHILOSOPHER KING" on it. If people are going to judge me based on how I look, they can read my torso instead of trying to draw conclusions about my personality from my brow ridge.


0004 - 2167/07/05/17:46 - Lee Caldavera's apartment, living room
[Lee Caldavera is still on the therapy couch]
LC: I dunno. Honestly, I don't think these therapy sessions are doing much good for me.
Doc: We might accomplish more, together, if you attempted some of the exercises and suggestions associated with the therapy.
LC: I told you, I'll feel comfortable presenting myself to other people once I get that ear and breast surgery. How can I communicate meaningfully with someone if my external form doesn't match who I truly am inside?
Doc: You've been through over a dozen cosmetic procedures in the past five years. Have you considered that you may never be fully satsfied with any single body type or facial configuration?
LC: Oh, that's great. Real therapeutic.
LC: Give it up, Lee, you'll never be satisfied with your physical appearance, you'll feel trapped in a hideous meatshell for your entire life.
Doc: You are trying to express the fullness of your personality through your appearance, but a) a multifaceted person can never be fully expressed in a single form or image, and b) human personalities are, necessarily, formed through interactions with others.
LC: What, so I can't make my face and body look like my inner personality because I don't have an inner personality, is that what you're saying?
Doc: I am saying that sometimes you need to start doing something you think is impossible before it becomes possible.
Doc: ...and if the past two years of our sessions are any indication, your personality consists almost solely of recaps of Martian cartoons, and that would be difficult to communicate via any quantity of mammary tissue.