-Terms and Conditions-
The website forwardcomic.com and all of its component pages (hereafter, "the site") is intended as the principal delivery method of the serialized graphic novel known as Forward (hereafter, "the comic"). Any person, business, organization, computer program, or organism attempting to access the site or the comic (hereafter, "you") is understood to be fully aware of and in compliance with the following terms and conditions.
The comic, the site, and all attendant materials and processes are understood to be the sole property of Mr. Mason "Tailsteak" Williams (hereafter, "Tailsteak"). Nothing provided thusly is intended as medical advice, financial advice, spiritual advice, political commentary, or predictions of the future. The comic is intended for entertainment purposes only. Failure to be entertained is a violation of these terms and conditions.
All persons, objects, AIs, events, corporations, animals, plants, machines, concepts, worlds and systems depicted or referenced on the site are fictional in nature, and any resemblance to actual persons, objects, AIs, events, corporations, animals, plants, machines, concepts, worlds or systems is entirely coincidental and imaginary. Any and all similarities between depicted or referenced material and actual entities is in violation of these terms and conditions, and said actual entities are required to cease and desist resembling the depicted or referenced material immediately.
Full permission is granted to you to save, modify, disseminate, comment upon, parody, adapt, remix, summarize, annotate, translate, transcribe, simulate, link to, print, 3D print, 4D print, fold, spindle, mutilate, and masturbate to/with the comic. By so doing, you agree to refer back to the site and to Tailsteak as the original source of the material, and to render to Tailsteak within thirty (30) days the full profits of any financial venture associated with these activities, or any activities, if any.
Viewing the site and the comic is best accomplished using either a direct neural uplink, nano-augmented eyeballs and optic nerves, or any psychointuitive content browser coded and authorized no earlier than 2160 CE. Viewing the site via any method other than those listed is understood to introduce perceived errors in the material (such as graphical imperfections, typoos, or subpar writing), and any and all such errors will be understood to be entirely the fault and responsibility of the viewer in perpetuity.
By accessing the site and the comic, you agree to waive your legal right to pursue any and all civil or criminal cases against Tailsteak and any of his associates or their associates. In addition, you agree to waive the full balance of any and all outstanding debts held against Tailsteak, either financial or otherwise. Furthermore, you are understood to understand and accept that these terms and conditions are normal, reasonable, legally binding in all areas, and that you will be able to comply with them easily.
There shall be no expectation of privacy whatsoever.
By accessing the site, you grant permission for your reading activities to be tracked and published, for your financial information to be fully extracted and assessed, for your medical and neural profile to be recorded, and for your image to be captured at time of access. Subsequent changes to any of this personal information must be provided within thirty (30) days. Should Tailsteak or any of his associates or their associates object to the content of this information, you will be required to modify yourself accordingly.
Tailsteak reserves the right to bar your access to the site or the comic for any or for no reason. Tailsteak also reserves the right to compel you to access the site or the comic for any or for no reason. In addition, Tailsteak reserves the right to modify or delete the site and comic at any time, and reserves the right to modify or delete any derived works, regardless of how, where, or by whom they are utilized.
All rights reserved.
In the event that your access to and use of the site or the comic comes into conflict with the access and use of another reader, full disclosure of the conflict must be provided to Tailsteak within thirty (30) days. By so doing, you agree to let Tailsteak mediate this dispute and determine the means of resolution (i.e., coin flip, trial by combat, etc). The outcome of this mediation is understood to be final, permanent, and fully legally binding. In the event that such mediation is provided, you will be required to pay any and all mediation fees, up to and including your entire net worth.
In the event that any civil or criminal case is brought against Tailsteak for any reason, either in relation to the site and comic or otherwise, you agree to appear and testify in whatever manner is most beneficial to him, up to and including taking full responsibility and attendant penalty for any misdeeds of which Tailsteak is accused. It is understood that this responsibility overrides and supercedes any pre-existing legal right or responsibility.
The site, the comic, and Tailsteak himself are understood to be pure and without fault in all ways. Any philosophical, spiritual, moral or religious objection to these terms and conditions is in violation of these terms and conditions. Go forth and slay the unbelievers!
These terms and conditions are presented in the expectation that, like all website terms and conditions, they will not be read. Reading these terms and conditions is a violation of these terms and conditions.
Thank you in advance for your compliance.