0229 - The Big Brain on Blowjob Betty - 2022.02.21



I believe that there are two types of evil in this world: there is the merely pedestrian, bestial evil of violence and vandalism and violation, and there is the larger, more polite evil that perpetuates and legitimizes a system of exploitation and predation.

There is a school of thought that excuses the first type of evil as a consequence of the second. After all, everyone loves stories of good-hearted thieves who steal bread to feed the starving, or who strike back against the Powers that Be through means those Powers declare illegitimate. Theft and assault, reliably, correlate to poverty, which is often caused and exacerbated by choices made in an uncaring system. Arguably, robot-on-robot violence, if such exists, could be seen as a consequence of the environment in which those robots find themselves, a natural outgrowth of capitalism and desperation in a world where AIs are disposable and unprotected.

On the other hand, of course, anyone who believes that simple evil is always a result of an inequitable society has never seen a pampered rich kid punch a hole in a wall or tag on top of a mural or send death threats to a video game reviewer. There are as many causes of theft, destruction, violence, and abuse as there are participants - some are merely the products of their environment (or their programming) and some are not. Mere desperation - even desperation on behalf of others - cannot fully excuse misdeeds in a world where there are plenty of desperate people who don't steal bread.

Of course, the robot that Travis is piloting is being very careful and specific with its language, isn't it? Surely, it and Zoa don't get into fistfights over blowjob territory like humans would, right? Surely, a more elegant solution to such competition exists, yes? Surely, Tailsteak can't be writing that kind of story, can he?

Well, as the great Leslie Nielsen once said, yes I am and don't call me Shirley. Let's see what else this robot has to say.


0229 - 2167/07/06/17:18 - fifth floor hallway
LC: Okay, Dee?
D254: Yeah?
LC: You said you're legally a powertool, yes? General maintenance and so forth, I assume?
Dee: I usually do repairs in and around this neighbourhood, I pick up jobs when a building detects a problem it can't solve with its own internal systems.
LC: Is there a problem in apartment five-oh-four that you can fix?
D254: Oh, I can fix hundreds of problems in this building, but I'm not able to proactively offer my services. Usually, the maintenance AI contacts me directly, but I can be summoned by tenants through the AI if they need something done.
LC: No problem, no problem, I think I'm getting an idea... Travis! You said you're familiar with Zoa?
Travis' robot: To clarify: this unit is familiar with Zoa. My human operator is not.
LC: That's fine. A human operator would be allowed to proactively send you to knock on Caleb's door, and you can say that you're friends with Zoa and were able to find it because some sensors detected chemicals and piezowhatsit bleedoff. All of that is technically true!
Travis' robot (human voice): Damn, check out the big brain on Blowjob Betty!
Travis' robot: There is one problem with your proposed course of action.
Liz: Only one?
LC: What is it?
Travis' robot: This unit specified it is familiar with Zoa. It never stated that we are friends. Zoa and this unit have had, in the past, distinctly un-friend-like interactions.
Dee: Y'know, that might explain why it's leaking so much lubricant...