0305 - Mezzer Paratta - 2023.08.07



I have a lot of personal catchphrases, things that just happen to come out of my mouth a lot. One that I use all the time is "as you wish", when I'm asked to do something. (Sometimes, in text form, I'll abbreviate it to "ayw" and add a genie emoji, if available.)

Now, those of you who know your Princess Bride probably know that AYW, in that movie, is how Westley tells Buttercup "I love you"... and, it's true, I often mean it that way when I'm performing some act of service for someone I do happen to love. More often, though, I mean it in the way that a genie might mean it, after some hapless cartoon character says something like "make me a sandwich". "As you wish" means "I am now going to do exactly what you have told me you want me to do, in exactly the way that you have said you want me to do it, and thus the consequences of this action are all your responsibility."

Of course, "as you wish" never seems to grant me the shield of plausible deniability I crave. People don't want you to do what they say, they want you to do what they mean, and they don't particularly care if their instructions were unclear or contradictory or didn't properly take conditions into account. Life is unfair like that.


0305 – 2167/07/07/09:03 - sidewalk
LC (shaking, holding onto Zoa): Oh God, this was a mistake, people are looking at me, people are staring at me.
Zoa: They’re not staring at you, Lee, they’re staring at me, and they’re staring because I’m a hot robo-babe wearing cool-ass clothes. You’ve got one of me, so they’re jealous.
CP: I d-don’t see anybody l-looking at us.
CP: Although t-t-technically, we are within line of sight of ten different buildings with windows, five ground vehicles, fifteen aerial vehicles, three inhabited space stations, and two open vents that could hold a t-typical human. On t-t-top of the n-normal anonymized data collection for emergencies and traffic management, of course.
Zoa: Wow, Caleb Paratta, do you have some sort of special counter-surveillance cybernetics, or is this you showing off your military training?
CP: Y-yes. Also, you don’t have to s-say my full name every t-time.
Zoa: That’s what you told me to do.
CP: It’s clearly not what I m-m-meant.
Zoa: I’m an AI, what does what you meant have to do with anything?
CP: Okay, you may also call me “Caleb” or “Mezzer Paratta”. Please.
Zoa (gleeful body language): Ooh, lotta pleases today. A bot could get used to this.
LC (clinging): Please does not mean higher. Please does not mean higher!