0044 - Not typical. - 2018.08.06



You may be under the impression that this situation is analogous to someone in the present day lugging their jizz-crusted anime waifu bodypillow into class with them, but that's not quite right.

It's more like bringing a jizz-crusted custom OC bodypillow with a Furby stuffed into the head, insisting that the Furby is their interpreter, insisting that this arrangement qualifies as a prosthetic, and insisting that the college, therefore, is required to pay the Furby corporation the equivalent of 40-hours-a-week worth of minimum wage as long as they continue auditing a single 1-hour-five-days-a-week class.

This arrangement is not typical for a variety of reasons.


0044 - 2167/07/06/10:02 - Rosenthal College, Phi building, classroom 1248
[classroom, the teacher is taking attendance]
teacher: Heather Appleby.
HA: Present!
teacher: Quip Bruncklemeyer.
QB: Here.
teacher: Emily Button.
EB: Yo.
teacher: Lee Caldavera.
Zoa: Mezzer Caldavera is present.
teacher: Uh... and I'm sorry, you are...?
Zoa: This unit is an autonomous nonspecified service provider, currently being used by Mezzer Caldavera as their emotional support aid. I am authorized to speak on Mezzer Caldavera's behalf, you may direct any questions or comments for them to me, and any responses from me should be considered to be Mezzer Caldavera's, unless otherwise noted.
teacher: That's... not how an emotional support aid typically works.
Zoa: I'm glad you recognize that I'm not typical, and choose to process it as a compliment. Thank you very much.