0050 - Fifteen centimeters - 2018.09.17



Some people have wondered how Zoa is able to perceive penises behind clothing. Is it some form of backscatter X-ray technology? The truth is, Zoa simply has a dedicated algorithm that deduces genitals from other available information.

It's a logical phallus-see.


0050 - 2167/07/06/10:57 - Rosenthal College, Phi building, classroom 1248
OT: You want to go home? Well, I'm not stopping you. In fact, I'll call campus security to escort you out, and I think we'll go ahead and delete your-
Zoa: Then they're gonna get evicted, you fifteen-centimeter uncut authoritarian!
OT: The hell you just call me?
Zoa: Look, I fucked up, okay? Me, Zoa. I made a mistake, because I'm an AI, and AIs make mistakes. I am trying to make it right, and I take full responsibility. But if you kick Mezzer Caldavera out of this class, they lose their housing. Don't take it out on Lee.
OT: I... don't know what's going on.
Zoa: Yeah. You don't.
Zoa: Short story shorter, Lee's a shut-in marstaku loner who's been holed up on campus housing because of a grandfathered clause somewhere. They haven't set foot outside their apartment in five years, I managed to convince them to sign up for classes while in the middle of a) an existential crisis and then b) a drunken stupor, and that apparently voided said grandfather.
Zoa: As I mentioned: my bad.
Zoa: We only came to this class because physical attendance was mandatory, and we're planning to go straight from here to the admin's office to throw ourselves on the mercy of a human pencil-pusher, in the hopes that they can put through an exception in the system and allow Lee to stay in their home without polluting your precious classroom any further.
OT: That all makes sense. Why the hell do you know how big my penis is?