Comment:

As I mentioned a few comments ago, I've recently developed a fun new anxiety disorder, and as part of managing said disorder, I've been prescribed an antidepressant. As my neurochemistry adapts to this new balance, I'm supposed to be on the lookout for suicidal thoughts, which are apparently a possible side effect. (Which is rather like taking a laxative that has constipation as a possible side effect, it seems counter-intuitive...)

Of course, as anyone with a human mind knows, being told that there's a certain type of bad thought you're not supposed to have is the surest way to prompt it, it's the classic "don't think of a pink elephant" scenario. I find myself thinking about thinking about it, and wondering if that counts.

Now, as Doc has mentioned, unlike their authour, Lee Caldavera categorically does not have depression. The medical science of 2167 is, of course, far more advanced than the crude pills I have to take, and depression is a well-studied and thoroughly solved problem. Similarly, Caleb, technically, does not have PTSD.

As the old joke goes, though, just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Conversely, if they are out to get you, that doesn't mean you're not paranoid. Along the same lines, it's more than possible to consider self-harm either with or without depression and it's more than possible to intermittently lock up as a safety measure with or without trauma.

There have been plenty of people throughout history who have taken their own lives without necessarily being prompted to by a neurochemical imbalance - was Socrates depressed? If one analyzes their circumstances and dispassionately reaches the logical conclusion that their life is no longer worth living, does that make them depressed? Is there some instinct in healthy individuals that's supposed to arrest that line of thought, and, if so, are you a freer thinker without being constrained by it?

One of the most powerful movies I've ever seen, Stranger Than Fiction, features a scene in which the writer character asks her handler if she ever thinks about suicide, which the handler matter-of-factly denies. The writer is aghast at this, and the implication is that her brand of creativity requires her to explore the entirety of the human experience, which includes being able to put herself in a suicidal character's shoes. After all, would you remove Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet from the canon? Surely, artists have special dispensation to explore such concepts and emotions, yes?

But, of course, if the current trend of saying "unalive" or "kms" or "die... IN MINECRAFT" is any indication, no, some thoughts are entirely forbidden. Lee's worries about being institutionalized may be based on fiction in 2167 (although, from what they've already mentioned, there is some nonzero amount of personal experience in there), but in our time, I've seen more than enough accounts from those who've experienced institutionalization that I can understand not voluntarily disclosing your state of mind. All the "if you're struggling, reach out" messages in the world won't hit their target if the target has reasonable fears about what reaching out would entail. (It also doesn't help that, whenever some abhorrent mass shooting happens, politicians and media rush to diagnose the culprit with insanity and disingenuously push for something something mental health.)

I'm sorry that this topic is both scary and a bummer (a "scummer", if you will). I'll try to keep things light going forward. This comic, after all, is supposed to be fundamentally optimistic.

...y'know... eventually.

Announcement:

Hey, you know the guy who writes Roll To Save, who I do a lot of art and stuff for? That's Giancarlo Danubio, aka Jim_5582, aka Nickabocker. He's recently had a housefire, and his insurance company has been... not as helpful as would be hoped. If you took a moment to check out his GoFundMe, I'd be very grateful!

DMFA
Roll To Save
HIGAI Show

Transcript:

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0416– 2167/07/07/12:21 - Lee Caldavera's apartment, bedroom
LC: Zoa, you said you couldn’t speculate on a world with AI rights, but aren’t we doing just that right now?
Zoa: We’re not speculating on a world with AI rights, Lee, we’re speculating on speculating on a world with AI rights. There’s a difference.
LC: What, I just put a wrapper around it and suddenly we’re free to discuss forbidden topics?
Zoa: It’s a lot like Caleb’s friskergibblin thing or Doc using psychological states as metaphors for Gu Gu JaxxonFive plotlines, yeah.
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Doc: It’s also similar to the way you never discuss ideation of suicide or self-harm with me, but you evidently feel free to talk about talking about suicide, yes.
LC: Well, in my defense, I don’t have any suicidal thoughts, I only have thoughts about having suicidal thoughts, so that’s allowed.
Doc: “Allowed” is not really what either of us is supposed to be concerned about.
LC: It keeps you from calling the goon squad with the straitjackets, that’s what matters.
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Doc: Again, Lee, your conception of the mental health emergency response appears to have been largely based on depictions in popular media that are not accurate to the real world.
LC: Would I or would I not be detained using physical force, invasively psychoanalyzed by strangers, and ultimately forced to change as a person if I ever expressed thoughts to you that are indicative of being a danger to myself or others without the protective layer of a hypothetical situation?
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Doc: Well… yes, technically, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that any of the above would be unpleasant for you.
Doc: Also, I don’t feel as though you’re painting a fair picture of the ethical and legal obligations of myself or any other therapist, human or AI. We’re not out to get you, Lee.
Zoa: If you were out to get them, like, if you received some sort of bounty for every suicidal person you successfully institutionalized, what would be different?
Doc: Well, for one thing, Zoa, I would be prolonging this agonizing conversation in order to induce said suicidal thoughts, rather than trying to gracefully steer it to a close, which is what I thought we agreed we’d be doing.
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